This is intended to be one of those. OMG this is so true it is funny blogs. There is swearing and sexual content. If you think you will take it personal, don’t read!
Message to the men, if your woman listens to this blog, you will be very happy indeed. So get her to read it.
Ladies, first I need to start out with we are never wrong!
At first any man reading this thinks to himself. "Oh, hell no my wife is not reading this crap." Trust me guys you will be happy.
I am often asked to "help out" in relationship issues, and as you can imagine twenty years as a Clairvoyant has taught me a thing or two about marriage, relationships and how things work.
What I have not learnt in the field, my lovely husband and twin soul has been more than happy to teach me. Usually he is on the losing end, but has taught me never the less.
The biggest issue in relationships is COMMUNICATION, we have heard it a million times, but we have not necessarily understood the huge difference between how men communicate and show love and how women do.
In arguments typically the woman is being irrational. (See guys told you this would be ok.)
We know women need attention, and men need to be needed, blah blah blah.
We know women are emotional and men logical, blah blah blah, but there is reasons why there are sayings out there like ,and at no point does this show how I feel about women or men, just for the record. GRIN.
"Bitches be crazy" or "Time of the month Hon?" or how about "Trying to get your bitch on dear?"
Don't get me wrong, men can be jerks, assholes, cold, without feeling, think of only themselves. etc but unless you are in a relationship with a selfish man, which does happen. A man who cares about nothing, but himself,this blog won't help you but I know great lawyers.
A "normal" guy turns into the jerk because they have closed off their hearing. They don't want to listen anymore!
What type of acknowledgment do we require you ask? That you listen closely and tell us we are right. Basically what I am saying is that on occasion we need the impossible.
When things do not work out this way guess what happens? Be nice guys! Yes, we go a smidgen crazy and the fight begins.
Ladies you may not know this, and I hate to be the barer of bad news here but we are so caught up on being safe and secure that we need control, we need to know everything and we for the most part do not trust easily! Also important to know you come by it honestly because your moms are the same way.
Now don't misunderstand me and get your huff on, obviously there is so much more at stake, after all we have certain personalities that change somewhat how we react but this usually equates to what we fight about not necessarily how we ladies fight.
We don't fight fair! We are right, they are wrong, and eventually someone has to cave or it will become a knock down drag out bitch on wheels fight.
It is true there are times when a fight is required but for the most part, fights are about needing to be right and wanting things done the way we believe they should be.
Once we have exhausted all ability to get the guy to see things our way, we calm down and discover that there is a possibility we might have been unfair, or wrong. In which case the problem arises that if we admit we were wrong, the guy will use it against us at a later date. So that is not an option!
What does this mean? Time for a covert operation ladies.
Recap. Ladies are controlling and men don't listen.
Girls, there is simple solutions to ensure you do not have to admit defeat, not only that you will leave him believing he has chosen a goddess to spend his life with.
Guys, you are so welcome.
Here is three options for how to not admit you are wrong but keep your man happy and sometimes even get him to apologize to you even though he wasn’t wrong.
1) Find out exactly when he going to be home....make sure the kids are either in bed or gone and be standing by the front door NAKED with HIGH HEELS or in a SEXY NEXT TO NOTHING NUMBER. and repeat after me.
“oh my god baby I need you right here right now!”
You are in a relationship and your best communication is sexual. It is the truth. You need to be loved, let them show you they love you. You need to be the most important thing, let them show you that you are.
Men are simple and they show their emotions through their body. The bonus here is they will be so turned on they won't give a shit who started what. You will get amazing mind blowing sex and they will decide you are FUCKING PERFECT!
2) As they walk through the door, drop to your knees and blow their brains.
LOL I am killing myself laughing as I am writing picturing the look on people’s faces as you read me telling you to give your spouse HEAD! In all fairness, it is an amazing way to catch your mans attention.
Not to mention. He will believe he has won the lottery. This option will give you at least a week of getting what you want when you want it and should be used even when not fighting for effective getting what I want manoeuvring
Don’t you love a little it is all about me time? I do.
(I am a clairvoyant and have been a sex therapist to more than one couple.)
3) Tell them you were wrong and you are so sorry and will never do it again. This one sucks and will leave you open to him bitching you out for a change. Telling you he can’t take this crap anymore and if it continues he may not want to be in this relationship anymore.
It will be his turn to make you pay.
SEE WHY I HAVE given you 1 and 2 as your options?????
Here is the facts. You will get a lot further with your man if you LOVE HIM. The best making up is make up sex. After the sex he will tell you how much he loves you and did not mean to hurt you because ladies he does love you. He puts up with your crazy often, remember that.
If he knows you will be happy and he will get lucky he will do anything he can for you because he loves you and intimacy is how he shows it!
If you want him to hear you, to really listen, don't do it after a day at work with kids running around or a game or movie being watched. Make love in the afternoon or way before bed and after curl up and talk! He will listen.
Now last but not least, just some tips to keep you and your man HAPPY. Life together is about quality not quantity and we often forget that while making money, raising children, keeping everyone happy that we miss out on or put our lovers, best friends and spouses on the back burner.
Life is about the Journey not the destination:
Now tips to keep your man happy!
1 Book a hotel room close to his work, call him with a code to give the front desk on his lunch hour. When he walks into the room be naked or in slinky on the bed with fruit beside you. Best lunch you will have ever had!
2 Tell him your fantasies, and let him make them reality for you.
3 Give both of you each a day off from life.
One day where he isn’t a husband or a dad, no cheating or anything just 24 hours to do whatever he wants.
Sleep in walk around in underwear, play in his garage or games for 24 hours.. His day and request and do the same for you. Just not the same day.
4 Leave suggestive/loving notes for him to find.
Fill both of your needs here. Eg: Baby, I love you so much I can hardly wait to get you back in bed. P.S. I am not wearing any panties today and you need to take out the garbage. See you when you get home.
5 Send a sex text while at work. (get creative, even send a naked pic, he won’t let anyone else see it. THIS IS IMPORTANT SO READ CLOSELY. DO NOT SAY I DON'T LIKE MY BODY SO I CAN'T...REMEMBER HE IS THE ONE LOOKING AT YOU NOT YOU. BE FAIR TO HIM. STOP TELLING HIM HE SHOULDN'T BE ATTRACTED.
6 Give him a day where you will do anything he wants you to do with him and the same for you.
7 Sex slave days!
8 Buy a wig and be a different person for one night.
(My favourite thing is perfect stranger, use your imagination to figure it out)
9 Order pizza, buy some beer and eat and drink in bed.
10 No kids? Naked Day! The whole day together naked!
11 Dinner and a movie… Get home both jump in pj’s order Chinese and curl up legs entwined watching a movie he wants to watch. Then another night make it a chic flick.
Make your moments even if they are few and far between count.
Go back to the first place you ever dated and instead of telling him how he makes you feel, park somewhere and show him.
Be young again, not always about the kids, and the bills and the job. Sometimes it just needs to be about a man and a woman. Make your relationship count.
If you aren’t married and you try these tricks, trust me the ring is going to be gorgeous and if you are married and you do this, we will worship you and make all your friends jealous.
Great sex, good communication and love is the key to a fantastic marriage.
On a serious note, if you are struggling in your marriage a clairvoyant can help. Bring me your problem and we will fix it.
