They work too much. Don't care enough about me. Don't understand where I am coming from. After 19 years of answering relationship questions in my office I could and am writing books all about it.
Here is the deal. Nothing is perfect if you don't allow it to be. If we have curly hair we want straight. Long want short. brown eyes want blue eyes. Single want a relationship. Married and no not always but wish you had other choices.
Whatever happened to loving the life your in? Making a relationship work because you love them. Having the love of your life is not like buying a car. You don't trade it in when too many miles get put on. As a matter of fact, the more miles, the more years, the better the relationship should be!
It is a choice to be unhappy when in love. It is a choice to not communicate the way you should. To let your love life become hallway sex, looking at each other saying Fuck You! Everything in our life is a choice and your relationship is no different.
Communication is the key! Most of us say we have that. But be honest how many of us think our partner should just know what is wrong. What is bothering us. What we need! Hello I am a clairvoyant and I still cannot read my husbands mind. Separate note: thank god. Like I can handle what is my head never name his.
Your partner cannot read your mind and if you need something or are feeling something for the love of god SPIT IT OUT! Tell them. Ask them. Give what you need to them so they can understand how good it feels to get it.
Don't expect that they won't get it, because your ex didn't, or because they didn't before. If they are not listening try a different way. What do you have to loose other than less lawyer bills?
Remember that they are their own person, with their own beliefs, their own dysfunctional upbringing and their own baggage. You have it too, and you want to be accepted for who you are so accept them!
Life is not nearly as complicated as we make it. Have some faith. They are not your past they are your present and your future. Have faith in them, love them through the good the bad and the ugly.
We get what we give. If we try to control everything it won't work. Assume they will just get it? they won't.
I say give some love to get some love, and back to the hallway sex. The only time hallways sex should be allowed is if your partner is ripping your clothes off and throwing you against the wall for traction. It takes less energy to make love than to fight. Less frustration to try to understand than to think you are always right.
If you don't trust them you shouldn't be with them. If you don't love them then the truth is you never really did! Life is simple, we make it complicated.
love and light
Kjarlune
