Thursday, April 28, 2011

ASK KJ: Day 20, If you don't have anything nice to say, do...

ASK KJ: Day 20, If you don't have anything nice to say, do...: "We get so caught up in our drama's that we can't see the past our own heads to get to the end goal. I thought I lived drama free, and I hav..."

Day 20, If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all!


We get so caught up in our drama's that we can't see the past our own heads to get to the end goal. I thought I lived drama free, and I have discovered none of us do. For some drama is how you cope, what you create so that you have something to work on. Something to fix. For others, like myself, it is the old tapes. The beliefs that have been instilled in us, and in the generations before us. 

For some of us Drama is something you can succeed at and for others it is battle of the brain. That battle is probably.....No I can say it is without question, the biggest obstacle you will ever have to overcome in your life. I have learnt so much in the last two months. Most of it I wish I could forget, and with any luck over time, especially with my bad memory I will...However, some of what I have learnt in the last two months, almost needs to become a Hallmark card I can carry with me and read over and over again whenever in doubt. Our past and the way we have been taught leaves us in the belief no matter how hard we try, that we are not good enough, not smart enough to figure things out on our own. 

Even with everything I know about the Universe and The Law of Attraction. I have spent the last 21 years believing that I know nothing about weight loss. After all if I knew how to do it, I would have done it. That my friends I have discovered is not the truth. However the belief led me down a windy road of research and trying to understand. It led me to a place of confusion and frustration. Just like when you are trying to make things happen in your life but don't have the faith you can. The worst part about not believing in ourselves is that it leaves one feeling very alone. 

I have learnt that like most other things in life weight loss is an Industry and everyone knows more than me. Of course I have also discovered over the years that a interior designer knows more about decorating than me too but it doesn't stop my house from looking good. I have also discovered that there is either a million different ways to loose weight, or everyone is full of crap,. I am leaning towards the full of crap part, but I should probably change the statement. There is a million ways to lose weight, but only one way to keep it off. 

Just like everything else. There is a million ways to find a relationship, but only one way to stay happily married for your lifetime. A million types of jobs, but only one that you will feel like was made for you. I have learnt that our biggest hold back is not laziness. Or even lack of motivation. My motivation has been through the roof. At 350 pounds I swim laps like I weigh 120 daily so not lazy. 

Our biggest hold back in our lives is Trust in ourselves. You can learn till you are blue in the face but if you do not trust that you have the ability to do whatever it is you are setting out to do, it can't work. You can search for the "golden ticket" the one way that life will just fall into place all you want, but unless you are ready to get rid of those beliefs that were instilled as a child it is not going to work! You have to trust YOU! You have to believe in YOU! You have to have faith in YOU! 

We do not get stuck because we are not trying. We get stuck because we are not believing. Even I got caught up in learning instead of trusting my intuition! MY INTUITION! You know that thing I have that people come and see me for????? Are you kidding me? I got caught up in not trusting myself....and so do you! 


We get so bogged down that we do not even notice what we have done! We get so caught up in what we don't have that we don't see what we do. 


We require helping hands on occasion. It is true. Going to see a psychic so they can give us our own direction is a helping hand.. Helping us get past our heads is a helping hand. Talking to a friend who knows you and can support you is a helping hand. Listening to everyone else but ourselves, well that is a road block....Losing faith in yourself and your direction in life. Losing your motivation, because you are told, or made to believe that you cannot succeed is not a helping hand. It is a road block. A success stopper...There is nothing wrong with looking for answers, but obsessing and not listening to yourself, to what you know is not the option. 


Believe in yourself, no matter what. No matter what you go through or how long it takes to get out of your head, and to achieve the goal, believe in you. Because the sooner you do, the easier it gets. 

Believe in yourself and you will succeed! 

Sunday, April 3, 2011

ASK KJ: Day 6 I see blue sky's, nothing but blue sky's..

ASK KJ: Day 6 I see blue sky's, nothing but blue sky's..: "Oh what a glorious morning. As much as I am looking so forward to not seeing any more white anywhere on the ground ever again, or at least f..."

Day 6 I see blue sky's, nothing but blue sky's..

Oh what a glorious morning. As much as I am looking so forward to not seeing any more white anywhere on the ground ever again, or at least for the next 6-7 months. (So much so I am seriously contemplating removing all white from my wardrobe, house, even my kids closets) I am so tired of the color. I do have to admit, when the sun is shining and mother nature starts teasing us again with a b e a u tiful day.....It's pretty.....

Of course not as pretty as green everywhere. Hot well built men walking around without a shirt...Lounge balconies full of people spending their paychecks and enjoying every second of it. That my friends is pure beauty. In Alberta anyhow.

The Stampede is coming and that means pancake breakfasts on every corner and BBQ's everywhere you look. Calgary is the home of free food, tons of booze and sex with strangers. All in the name of some good old country, getting business done, visiting, and vacationing fun.

Somewhat like Spring Break in Florida, minus the underage bikini babies, strutting their stuff and partying in a thong. Don't misunderstand me, if I had that kind of body, I would probably strut my stuff on 17th ave here in Calgary in a few shreds of material. Save the flight and party close to home. That would be me, way less competition that way.....*grin*

Yes today for me is a day for making goals....You see I reached one this morning... I am officially 60 pounds thinner...One goal reached!!!

My new goal is to be in the 200's by my birthday. I am turning 40 this year and have the need to feel amazing for that day. I am told depending on who I am talking too that wanting to loose 20 pounds a month is not a realistic goal.

It is still my goal don't misunderstand me but I am told that I should not be thinking that way. We will see. I have never been one to do what I am told so why start now.


For today, I celebrate a huge mile stone.. I can officially use my wii fitness now....

If you have never been the size I started this would not make sense to you but, two maybe three years ago, my now estranged sister got me a WII fitness for Christmas. I have not been able to use it until TODAY!

My kids did and would ask me all the time to play with them. I have perfected excuses, not wanting them to know that I was too fat to register on the WII fit board. (I tried it one night when everyone was sleeping).

That was my first goal, that WII fit has been haunting me for three years. The funniest thing is, I have no desire to use it..I just hating knowing I couldn't.

It does not matter what you want to Manifest into your life, you need to have goals. Some goals need to be along the way so that you know you are getting there. I even suggest that you give yourself plenty of time so you can breeze right past them before the time you set for it, so you can feel the energy of succeeding.


Isn't that one life is, energy and succeeding is getting to where you want to be in your life. Living the life you want to live.

The reality is that you are going to be here anyway. Be alive anyways, at least the chances are good. So if you are going to be here anyway, why not be one or two steps closer to the life you want to have? The life you fantasize about?

What is the point of getting up every day if you are not going to get to where you have the desire to be?

Some things come easy. For me it was finding my twin soul, building my business, and loving my kids. For you it might be being thin and a non smoker. It doesn't matter what it is you find the easiest in your life. It matters that you can accomplish what you find the hardest.

If I can loose 60 pounds in 4 months and be a non smoker for 5 months. You my friends can do anything you set your mind too.

Why am I writing this daily blog? To put my teachings to the test! I have been saying that manifestation is easy! I have proven it many times, but even I have taken it for granted and am now using the tools I know and love in the one area of my life I have never conquered. ME!

SO thank you Soul Family....Grandpa Gus for helping me loose these 60 pounds. I would appreciate if you could stop showing me you are around with the smell of stake smoke...(it is really gross) I know you are always here, always taking care of me and always giving me what I need. My next need personally is to be in the 200's. Let's make it happen.

At the end of the day, life is like a blue sky, endless and full of possibilities. So whether you are making goals so that you can have better mind blowing sex life with your husband like I am doing or because it will just make you feel better. Their is no negatives to becoming who you want to be.


Have a great Sunday....

One happy chubby chick.


ASK KJ: Day 5, snowed in. What a great day for...

ASK KJ: Day 5, snowed in. What a great day for...: "Get your minds out of the gutter, I was going to say what a great day for cuddling under a blanket watching movies on Netflix. Which is what..."

Day 5, snowed in. What a great day for...

Get your minds out of the gutter, I was going to say what a great day for cuddling under a blanket watching movies on Netflix. Which is what I have done all day.

For some looking to loose weight they have cheat days for me it is treat days and my real idea of treating myself is to curl up and not go out in the cold to the aquatic center to swim for two hours. I know it sounds sad at the end of the day but in reality I just did not have the energy nor the desire to drive there.

I am very much looking forward to my pool being clean as it is being heated right now....Once it is clean it may not be long enough for to do laps but I can do some water aerobics on those days I do not want to venture out in the car...

That is how much my hunny loves me. He worked on summarizing our pool today while I curled up watching Blue Crush. practicing my surfing the couch technique while ever so slowly munching on air popped corn.

Even when you are slimming down a movie day and pizza night are not in the realm of what not to do...Just order multi grain and eat limited.

I am in a just here mood today so no joking or being a smart ass. Just some good old fashioned watching movies while Crocheting. 

Friday, April 1, 2011

ASK KJ: Day 4....am I bitchy or tired..I just don't know

ASK KJ: Day 4....am I bitchy or tired..I just don't know: "Not one of my finer days, to say the least. I am not miserable and nothing bad has happened, so I think I might just be a little hormonal....."

Day 4....am I bitchy or tired..I just don't know

Not one of my finer days, to say the least.

I am not miserable and nothing bad has happened, so I think I might just be a little hormonal....Shocking female...We have inherent bitch hormones.

Actually for me it is shocking because I do not cycle. I admit it I am not normal...hahahahahaha... Ok, even I can't believe I just said that. I am sure the men reading will be like, OMG did she really have too???

But I am promised to share all....Sooooo...I cycle if I am lucky once every 12 years..Well with all this weight loss coming through mother nature decided it was my turn for a present.

We will be chatting when I get a chance. Me and mother nature. Not only am I pissed at her for the snow, yeah we really needed more of that. I am now pissed, emotional and feeling somewhat psychotic because she did not go to toys r us for my present.(stomping my feet)

The day has been good though, I worked out in the pool for 2 hours doing laps./

It is so funny when someone goes into the pool and picks the lane beside me, nice nod and I can hear them thinking she won't be able to do this. Then I beat them lap for lap. After a while they start to look impressed....Then they leave because well they are done and the next person comes over and over till my two hours of freestyle and backstroking is done.

All in all a good, bitchy. emotional. but really I am doing fine kind of day.......Man am I glad this is only every 12 years....


night all I am too tired to keep typing.....
xoxoxo