ASK KJ: Sex, Hard amazing and will blow my mind. It is my ...

ASK KJ: Sex, Hard amazing and will blow my mind. It is my ...: "That's the way uh huh uh huh I like it uh huh uh huh...... What a day. I am feeling somewhat frustrated but not because of anything bad. ..."

Sex, Hard amazing and will blow my mind. It is my turn on top! Day 3

That's the way uh huh uh huh I like it uh huh uh huh......



What a day. I am feeling somewhat frustrated but not because of anything bad. I have been working so much over the last two days I have not been able to go to the pool and do my laps and that makes me one cranky little camper....


Over all though it has been a good day....The gods have got to find a way to make my scale disappear till weigh in on Sunday though.


Can't fairies or something come hide it?? it works for my phone, my jewelery and my brain. They disappear without any warning why can't this happen to my scale??

I swear a man invented the scale.A screwed up, sexually frustrated man who was not getting laid and he wanted his wife to pay.

He invented the scale and made sure it was out of alignment. She believed she was 20 pounds more than she was and felt so bad he consoled her.

Leaving her to believe he was the only man who would love her and thus he started getting laid again.

Bastard, should have accepted blue balls. Here I am generations later doing my thing and I feel the need to go look at the scale ALL THE TIME!!!


Obsess much, nope not me....


I will say though since shedding my 60 pound back pack, holy god that was way heavier than I knew, I  have way more energy..

Water, my friend or my foe, that is the question...


I have drank more water in the last 6 months than Vancouver is going to get drowned in during 2012 let me tell you.. ( No Vancouver is not going to go under water in 2012 but I got a kick out of the looks on your faces..hahahahaha)

Seriously though, water water water. I like to swim in water, bathe in water, live in water..(still looking for my biological parents, my merents....I promise to keep you posted. Hell the National Enquirer will post it for you too I am sure.)

I am not a huge fan of drinking it...Maybe it is because I know my mer family shit in it, or maybe it is because it has NO TASTE... All I know is I feel like I am drinking 100 pounds a day of water. Of course it is working, so fine I will continue to drink it.


I mentioned yesterday that I am doing things... Uniquely and I will tell you all about it, just not yet......hahahahahhahaha..


I was a little dizzy today but it might be because I was thinking Kelly my hairdresser needs to get me some blonde highlights. (No offense to any hair color challenged out there.)

I  have had dizzy times in the past so I am not that worried. That is it, that is my day. I am off to dream about my mer family and swimming, looking hot in a bikini....


With a gorgeous muscle bound man helping me....................because he thinks I am drowning.........Brian won't mind....


hugs nite all...  

Desperation..(not a part of my sex daily blog)

Desperation:

It is more unflattering than stretch marks.

Ask any man, he would take too much fat in the middle, boobs sagging to the floor, having to do all the work over desperation any day.

It is a waste of emotion. Worse it is a feeling that leaves it’s mark far after the desperation fades.

We all want, no we all need to be loved, needed, wanted, adored, worshiped, understood, trusted, thought of, and basically important to not only that someone special but to anyone and everyone who cares about us.

Our bodies, believe it or not is not how we get that. Our minds and the crazy tricks it plays doesn’t get it for us either. Our energy, what we present ourselves. The way we communicate, we share, we give is what is our “selling” feature.

Desperate is why your house is sitting on the market for too long, not the colors or the size.

If you are alone and desperate than you will stay alone because it is like a “condemned” sign on a property.

If you are in a relationship that is “complicated” lord knows we have all had our share of those….Then get used to complicated my darlings because you are the reason it is complicated.

If you are happy in your relationships and your lives then guess what??? You are never desperate.

Love the life you are living and let it go. Be that breath of fresh air, that magnet that attracts people to your life. Let go of the desperate and get into the “this is my life and I am going to live it” liberation.

Just like taking poison, or having that second drink desperation is a choice.

Sex, Hard amazing and will blow my mind. It is my turn on top! Day 2

It Hurts so GOOOOOD!

I have an awesome trainer, really sweetheart of a guy. Young, cute, smart ass. My perfect trainer.

As a matter of fact, the day I met him he called sweetie.

If that isn't a sign....Hold the phone and hang a tie around the door, we have a winner. Prince Ali I affectionately call him. Course when he is working me over.....Asshole is the name I prefer....I love you Ali and you know it...


Here is the thing....I do love my trainer....but I HATE GETTING TRAINED!!!!!!


1st I am not a dog, I am not in need of training, I have been peeing in a toilet for years...

2nd: and this one is big...I AM A CONTROL FREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and training means telling me what I have to do.......Uh, yeah...no!!!

Honestly, number two doesn't work for me. I am the one that tells people how to do things.....hello....

The 3rd reason and this one gets me too. He tells me that pain is gain....Are you kidding I know that bullshit, I tell my clients and students pain means you are learning....I DON'T WANT TO LEARN!! I WANT TO LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Love, exciting and new 
Come Aboard. We're expecting you.
Love, life's sweetest reward.
Let it flow, it floats back to you."

Actually I want to look hot in a pair of jeans and show my husband exactly how controlling I am...*eye brow wiggle inserted here*

As much as I love my trainer, and I do, you should go see him really. I get a hug every time and everything...I hate the pain. I do not enjoy the working out, and I get bitchy...

So this is what I have learnt.....

Don't bother even trying if you are not going to love it....Honestly getting in shape is like a great meal....Why sit down and eat it...go over your calories and gain some damn weight if you are not going to rock my world blow me over LOVE IT! 

For me, like I mentioned getting told what to do, nope can't handle it...


I on the other hand, was born a fish....

I am not sure how my mom and dad got rid of my fins, and am looking into where my blood family really is, but it is true....I am a member of the mer people...Don't judge us....I love love love love love love WATER....

Swimming for me is like melted chocolate dripping off my strawberry, scorching (oops sorry hunny *batting eyelashes*) my husband...It is the great escape....my fuck the world...it is all about me time....




See for me a reason I become the fatty that could after I left my abusive marriage was that I could. Even when we know better we still eat.


I have spent enough years hurting myself the thought of doing it in a way I don't want too well it just plain sucks and because of that I am not interested. Find what you love to do, hell make it two hours sex at least your burning those calories....


I want to talk for a second about how I am going to defy what people think is healthy or good for me through out this. Know that I am not a stupid woman and have checked with my Dr. and well probably your dr too I have talked to so many....lmao..




Would we not expect KJ would totally step out of the box and loose weight even her way? I don't do anything any other way...


My grandpa god and kermit rest his soul (grandpa not Kermit...I am sure kermit is fine) helps me every night....I am telling you this because as of this morning....since Sunday I have lost R U READY???????






12 pounds...




Yep, and no it wasn't all water weight. Some but I have lost 54 before that eating my 5 meals a day working out like a dog with prince Ali.....You know the way the industry has told me too...




Well now I don't wanna! We know I hate being told what to do... I love the law of attraction. 


I am going on a cruise in August, and just because I am obese does not mean I don't wanna look hot.....hahahahaha ok even I had to laugh at that........uh hem mm..... Hotter (wink) in a bathing suit while whale watching on the boat....I am going to Alaska so I know not really the hottest weather...




However, being me, I am decided that if I look better in a swimsuit I am wearing it...




So my diet is the law of attraction and the hibernating bear all rolled into one....I will tell you all about as we go..


I may land of my face, crash and burn and have to admit...(bad taste in mouth) that I am wrong...and the conventional way is the way to go. If that is the case I will go back to that but for now this Queen of fucking everything (no really I have the mug) is loving loosing it fast..




This is my thought for the day...




Our world seems to relate heavily to living in pain. Suffering seems so much easier to wrap our heads around than pleasure. (the being on top sexually is totally going to change that for me, for the record)  We seem to be so drawn to pain of some kind that we so easily believe it.. Now there are even good pains...WTF!




I am left to question if the weight loss industry, the bikini industry as it should be refereed to is the same way???


In order to loose weight you must count calories, eat right, small portions, no Mac Donald's ( I am telling your their Mac wraps...fucking awesome) work out to the point of  pain, drink so much water you feel like you are floating, work out more.. Maybe it is a punishment thing... Maybe it is just like when we were kids and if we did something wrong we got punished. Well I don't want to be anymore.
 I have been punished enough, had to learn enough by being obese in a thin society....




Hugs all....This Hurts so good fatty with  a Attitude is off like a heard of turtles...they like water too...I am going to get ready do my job and because today is my late day...probably work even later.....








hugs...peace......talk to you tomorrow






Always remember spelling and grammer well they ended when I lost on the spelling bee tv show in grade 6....so read between my lines. I promise if I ever turn this into a book an editor will finish it for me.....

Sex, Hard amazing and will blow my mind. It is my turn on top! Day 1

I know what a title. I decided total honesty was the way to go here.

If you were a originally 410 pound woman you might use that as your motivation too.

Have you ever noticed that you get so busy with everything going on in your life. Your kids, your job, your relationships, lack of, then getting one, then ditching it, then finding the one. Your friends, face facts they need to be pretty crazy to keep on the same page as this friendly fatty. Bills, oh let's not forget those, those papers that come every month, whether you want them to or not....What the hell am I saying. Of course you don't want them, it is like going out to eat and the waitress asks your if you would like your bill?

No! Actually, I would like you to roll my fat ass to my car because I ate too much and not have to pay a penny. Thank you so much...*Sincere smile here*

For all of us life gets in the way. I have been teaching how to make things amazing in your world for a long time and it works. There is no denying it.

For me the time has come to stop letting life get in the way, stop letting it drive me as far as my body goes and start driving it, right to being on TOP! Brian will be so thrilled! *grin*


It is time for me to finally let go of this major hangup... You know what here is the truth...I want to be 130 pounds. I need to look amazing in a pair of jeans, and I LOVE PENCIL SKIRTS! I would just like one without a wide load sign attached thank you very much.....


SO today is day 1 of me sharing with well whoever wants to read, this journey.


****WARNING************


I am fucking crazy!!!! and if you did not know this before you are about to discover, but it is okay, I don't bite, (YET) and I am for the most part pretty easy to get along with. I am just CERTIFIABLE!

This is not going to be a awww sweet Kjarlune is loosing some weight......NOPE this is share it all bare it all.....


I am going to swear, (OBVIOUSLY) and I am going cry, (IT'S A GIVEN) I am going  to scream and stomp my feet and want my mommie, but I am also going to look fucking amazing in a pair of jeans. Simple really...



It is wild because ever since I quit smoking 5 months ago I feel like I can do anything. SO this just seems like the way to go.....


The fact that at 410 pounds it hurt to much to be on top is a good a reason as any. I watch porno's it looks like a fab position..... My sex life is great.... I just want it BETTER!

SO yep, like nothing I have ever done before...


You should know I am already down. I should have started this in December...I am now today 356 I will keep you posted on that too...


I have done the conventional, now I am trying the EXTREME!!!! more about that TOMORROW!!!!

Guzoo's Me!

Oh my it felt like a sneeze.


I have been watching the rants and raves about the local Three Hills home Petting Zoo over the last couple of days and I am even saddened to say I almost fell into the "burn it down" kettle.

After all, pictures can be so descriptive. They say so much, yet leave out a great deal.

I remember, before even going into my love for the Guzoo Zoo which I am sure is going to make me a bad person now....I remember a time when there was picture of my Middle Daughter Ashley after our pedestrian car accident 11 years back. She was bruised up with scratches on her and on her arm was a hand print in bedded.

Let me be a little clearer for you. She had MY hand print bruised on her arm. As clear as the day was long there it was, and if you would have looked around the other arm you would have seen the print of my other hand.

This picture looked like my little girl had been beaten, there was no question and at one point I had a few people in Cochrane believed that I abused her.

I didn't of course, what I did do was after getting up from being thrown around a building in a car accident and running to her aide with pure adrenalin moving me, I grabbed my baby and held her into my arms. To such a degree that 8 paramedics and 3 shots of morphine in the arm was what it took to get her released from my arms.

Never try to take a moms baby after trauma just for the record.

I didn't do anything to my daughter no other mother wouldn't do but if you looked at those pics I should have been burned at the stake!

I am by no means claiming that there is no way the Three Hills Zoo could treat their animals this way, I do not know the owner personally, so I certainly cannot vouch for him and lord knows I have seen things go down hill, my relationship with the child I have mentioned up above just as an example.


However is the proof completely there?

Do we know for sure, without a doubt these animals are being mistreated?

I know of a dog lover or two that would get caught up in their own lives and forget to make sure their dogs have food and water at every moment too does that mean those dogs should be euthanized?

Hey I know some kids being mistreated too should we put them down? Do you see at all what I am trying to say?

I feel like I am living in Salem and I should be looking for some witches to burn. Sorry oh sweet husband of mine of every other witch I know, it seems times have not changed, We still believe in burning at the stake before we know the truth.

Guilty until proven innocent, that is our nature.....SO well we are so quick to judge, let's take a better look!

This Zoo has been around for over 25 years. It is run by a family, A HUMAN FAMILY! They have Tigers,and lions and bears OH MY! they also have dogs and a monkey which used to be two, and cats, and birds etc etc etc....


They are not the local Zoo and I have personally found out that if you wanted to go give them a helping hand your volunteering would be more than appreciated......


Why do I even have a opinion? Two reasons, one I am judged every day and the whole judge first say oops later is getting really old for me.....


Second this Zoo everyone including my daughter in law is bashing, is the same Zoo that opened on Christmas day instead of eating with their family so that I could play with Bassett hounds. So my kids could touch a tiger,it was an amazing day as every one has been when I am at the Guzoo.....


This cruel animal owner, stood with me for an hour and told me everything I could want to know about Basset Hounds, because he is a rescue for them. He watched me close as I wanted to steak Jazz a basset with an attitude, and he treated my children, Eddie Ashley Ashley and Kailyn like they were his family.


He granted my husband my greatest Christmas gift......SO I for one will find out if they need some help first before I judge.....I have had bad times too and I by no means believe that an animal of any kind should be mistreated, I truly don't, I love animals.  But I also know there is always more to a story than what we judge on.



Blessed by my witch friends, they may be coming after you next!

Time to take out the trash!

We spend so much time trying to be careful that we do not take into account what we are really doing to ourselves.

Before I go there have you ever noticed how fast we judge a stranger or friend doesn't matter really? Be honest with yourself here for moment, no one is going to know but you and me... We judge so fast. What someone wears, how someone looks, who someone is, what has been said about another person, we cast stones so fast.

Have you ever heard of the saying "Those should not cast stones who live in glass houses" ? It's true but we all do it. Yep even me.

Before I met my husband I was to say the least I relationship failer, yes I said failer. I would say I failed in a relationship but frankly and I say this with the most honesty I can muster, there should be an Olympic sport called relationship failer. I would be a gold medalist hands down!

I would get into relationships I KNEW would not work. Are you kidding me really? No job, did drugs, and had no connection to their family???? hmm, no really they were sweethearts, who were just misunderstood. *sigh*

Yep I knew how to pick them. Funny because I used to say all the time that finding someone was not difficult, of course I understand now that the quality I was looking for was not grade a beef, nope it was ground regular hamburger. Needless to say they are easy to find. Just like the grocery store they fill most of the space in the meat isle.

Yet it never stopped me from judging someone about who they where with.


Have you ever noticed that we all have an opinion? Not just any opinion, let me re frase that.

Have you ever noticed we all have the right opinion? That would be more accurate don't you think? I'm right, therefore you are wrong does seem to apply to most of our moments where we are trying to control things, or when we are giving our much needed advice to those we care about.

It is true "opinions are like assholes, everyone has one." but and this is the big part here, our opinions are only right when we are saying someone else is wrong. I know therefore you don't. I am right therefore you are wrong

Opinions are a way of controlling and the funny thing is we say we are just trying to help, we are giving our unneeded opinion because we care.  It is true we do care, and it is true we share because we don't want to see someone get hurt, or go through bad things, but the reality is we also give an opinion because we are scared they might know better.

Scared we might not be right after all.


Have you ever noticed we don't trust what we cannot control?

We say we trust our friends, and our loved ones, but do we really? Do you share every part of you? Jumped right in with both feet? or are you like everyone else and you test the water first before you climb into the pool?

The saddest part is that we don't trust ourselves either, nor do we trust that we will learn what ever we need too and nothing will happen that we cannot handle.

Trust is about accepting, someone for their word, that things will be a certain way. Yet we believe what we are told and in turn pass judgement because of the information we have been given.


Have you ever noticed it is never our fault? Always someone else's. That friend who gave you the advice, the one who told you to go for it, it is her fault. I would have never taken a chance if she did not tell me too, bitch.

The extra weight I am carrying, hello!!!!! I have been working way to hard to work out. I don't have time to eat right. My career is far to hectic. Who has time to make a salad?


Here is the reality,


it is time to take out the trash.

We judge because we feel inferior, and we have an opinion because we need to feel better. Trust is something  that if we give we loose control even though we don't want the control we are scared to let it go and it is never our fault because if it is our fault then that explains why we are not good enough!


All of this stems from fear and is a complete waste of time. The truth is I would not have missed one regular beef relationship because without it I would not have met my husband. Even I am not always right, but if you can trust what you know in your heart you will be more right then you have ever been before. Instead of judging take the time to ask questions, think past the momentary glimpse and you might see something you can relate too, I do every day in every reading. Fear is a waste of an emotion and can stop us from living so throw out the trash, start over and give yourself a chance.


Try something new, be who you want to be and let go of those past beliefs.

Love your life...
KJ