Sunday, March 27, 2011

Time to take out the trash!

We spend so much time trying to be careful that we do not take into account what we are really doing to ourselves.

Before I go there have you ever noticed how fast we judge a stranger or friend doesn't matter really? Be honest with yourself here for moment, no one is going to know but you and me... We judge so fast. What someone wears, how someone looks, who someone is, what has been said about another person, we cast stones so fast.

Have you ever heard of the saying "Those should not cast stones who live in glass houses" ? It's true but we all do it. Yep even me.

Before I met my husband I was to say the least I relationship failer, yes I said failer. I would say I failed in a relationship but frankly and I say this with the most honesty I can muster, there should be an Olympic sport called relationship failer. I would be a gold medalist hands down!

I would get into relationships I KNEW would not work. Are you kidding me really? No job, did drugs, and had no connection to their family???? hmm, no really they were sweethearts, who were just misunderstood. *sigh*

Yep I knew how to pick them. Funny because I used to say all the time that finding someone was not difficult, of course I understand now that the quality I was looking for was not grade a beef, nope it was ground regular hamburger. Needless to say they are easy to find. Just like the grocery store they fill most of the space in the meat isle.

Yet it never stopped me from judging someone about who they where with.


Have you ever noticed that we all have an opinion? Not just any opinion, let me re frase that.

Have you ever noticed we all have the right opinion? That would be more accurate don't you think? I'm right, therefore you are wrong does seem to apply to most of our moments where we are trying to control things, or when we are giving our much needed advice to those we care about.

It is true "opinions are like assholes, everyone has one." but and this is the big part here, our opinions are only right when we are saying someone else is wrong. I know therefore you don't. I am right therefore you are wrong

Opinions are a way of controlling and the funny thing is we say we are just trying to help, we are giving our unneeded opinion because we care.  It is true we do care, and it is true we share because we don't want to see someone get hurt, or go through bad things, but the reality is we also give an opinion because we are scared they might know better.

Scared we might not be right after all.


Have you ever noticed we don't trust what we cannot control?

We say we trust our friends, and our loved ones, but do we really? Do you share every part of you? Jumped right in with both feet? or are you like everyone else and you test the water first before you climb into the pool?

The saddest part is that we don't trust ourselves either, nor do we trust that we will learn what ever we need too and nothing will happen that we cannot handle.

Trust is about accepting, someone for their word, that things will be a certain way. Yet we believe what we are told and in turn pass judgement because of the information we have been given.


Have you ever noticed it is never our fault? Always someone else's. That friend who gave you the advice, the one who told you to go for it, it is her fault. I would have never taken a chance if she did not tell me too, bitch.

The extra weight I am carrying, hello!!!!! I have been working way to hard to work out. I don't have time to eat right. My career is far to hectic. Who has time to make a salad?


Here is the reality,


it is time to take out the trash.

We judge because we feel inferior, and we have an opinion because we need to feel better. Trust is something  that if we give we loose control even though we don't want the control we are scared to let it go and it is never our fault because if it is our fault then that explains why we are not good enough!


All of this stems from fear and is a complete waste of time. The truth is I would not have missed one regular beef relationship because without it I would not have met my husband. Even I am not always right, but if you can trust what you know in your heart you will be more right then you have ever been before. Instead of judging take the time to ask questions, think past the momentary glimpse and you might see something you can relate too, I do every day in every reading. Fear is a waste of an emotion and can stop us from living so throw out the trash, start over and give yourself a chance.


Try something new, be who you want to be and let go of those past beliefs.

Love your life...
KJ