ASK KJ: Even your forever love can be broken.

ASK KJ: Even your forever love can be broken.: Relationships have become disposable. A couple of generations ago you would never have heard of marriages ending every day. Couples falling...

Even your forever love can be broken.

Relationships have become disposable. A couple of generations ago you would never have heard of marriages ending every day. Couples falling out of love as easy as changing the coffee house they order from.

A couple of generations ago there was an understanding. It did not mean everyone was happy but it did mean they tried.

We are all searching for our twin souls and as being someone who married mine I can understand why, but there is still a lot in the fine print you have not read yet about the perfect relationship!

It doesn’t matter if you are with a for now or a forever, you still have to work at it. Even I believed a twin soul was a guarantee of sorts, a no brainer we will understand each other forever kind of thing.

Relationships no matter how good they are end up destroyed every day. One minute the love is flowing and the next hate and anger take over.

A relationship can only work if there is constant communication, something so easily taken for granted and pushed to the side of even the best relationships. Pushed aside because life just gets to busy.

Our baggage comes with us whether we want it to or not, but surprisingly enough I don’t think that is what destroys the forever after.

The biggest mistake a couple who love each other makes is taking life’s stress’s out on each other. There is always something going on. Bills needing to be paid, kids trauma’s and drama’s. Your beloved pet getting sick or maybe even your parents. No matter what the story these take a toll on us and they take an even bigger toll on our marriages.

Those quick flash angers, the attitude you share with the one you love when you are in a bad mood. It adds up and before we know it even the best get broken. We think our relationships can handle anything because we are in love and when you love someone that should be enough right? It isn’t.

Life is going to get in your way whether you are in love or not. Those life lessons and strains are going to happen any way. Using our spouse as a batting cage emotionally to release life’s frustrations or make them understand just makes it worse.

For the most part we take things out on each other without even realizing and that is when it is the scariest. You have to understand that there is a reason you love that person, or at least a reason you did. Even the things that made you fall in love start to become the reasons you are annoyed when you allow life to take precedence in your love life.

Your partner, your forever after is supposed to be your best friend, your lover, your confidant and the one person you can tell everything too. We are not supposed to in a heated moment use it against each other. Take out all of our frustrations and just believe it will all work out.

Relationships don’t work anymore because we do not think about the other person. We think about ourselves. We think about what we need not what they need, about what we feel not what they feel. Relationships fail because there is no “I” in “we”.

Even the strongest of bonds can deteriorate when pushed to their limits. Try to remember the words you use because they can never be taken back. Try to remember the blame you throw because it can never be un done.

When and if it gets too late, all the things that got in the way of this relationship, all the reasons your love had to take a back seat will suffer too.

The kids you put before your partner they will suffer for the rest of their lives because you thought of them first. They will question relationships and will come from a broken home all because their immediate not life altering needs came first.

That money you needed to make instead of loving your partner, it will be split and often given to the lawyers, for all your hard work, when all you had to do was take a day off and play hooky with the one you love. Never go to bed angry and talk even when you were exhausted. Even when you didn’t want to talk.

Living in a box with the one you love is way better then living in a mansion losing the one you have loved since the moment you met them. Remember that when you trying to get ahead and allowing the stress to take its toll on your relationship.

Remember that as much as everything happens for a reason sometimes the reason is you have not learnt. Life is too short to take it out on the one you love. I know this because I am married too. Love your life, Love your partner. Love yourself. 

ASK KJ: Life can truly be amazing if you allow it....Read ...

ASK KJ: Life can truly be amazing if you allow it....Read ...: "Life truly can be amazing if we allow it to be. I have said that more times then even I care to remember but for the most part 8 out of 10 ..."

ASK KJ: Life can truly be amazing if you allow it....Read ...

ASK KJ: Life can truly be amazing if you allow it....Read ...: "Life truly can be amazing if we allow it to be. I have said that more times then even I care to remember but for the most part 8 out of 10 ..."

Life can truly be amazing if you allow it....Read this, it will help!!

Life truly can be amazing if we allow it to be. I have said that more times then even I care to remember but for the most part 8 out of 10 people who read it or hear it, don’t believe it. So I am going to take a moment and explain it just a little further.

I remember very clearly celebrating my 30^th birthday. Not a day I like to remember to be honest. It was probably the worst day of my life. I was leaving the excuse of being in my twenties to not have my shit together and heading to my thirties where there was no more excuses. I was depressed, unhappy, still felt like an abused wife even though I had been out of the abuse for a few years. I was miserable. Understand that it was heightened because it was my birthday but at the end of the line this was how I felt all the time. This is how many of us feel all the time. Miserable, like nothing is going our way and we can’t have what we want.

Brian and I had been together intimately for 4 months and for the most part were doing fine. Great sex, not great communication, and he seemed to have two cute kids. He had started to care about me so much that he tried to get someone who meant the world to me, but I had lost because of my irresponsibility and childish actions over the previous years , to come to the party. Lance didn’t come but the thought was there, without a doubt.

The night of my birthday I was feeling fat, worthless and all around miserable. Within a couple of hours even Brian was second guessing me. It is important to truly believe and understand at this point that you are what you think you are, and your life is what you think it is. You create your outcomes whether you like it or not.

Think of the amount of times you have thought about someone you do not want to talk too and poof the phone rings or you run into them. How about the amount of times you have thought or worried about a bill and the next day it comes in. Sometimes even to the point of being a final notice. Coincidence? All of the synchronicities in the world are just perfect timing? I don’t think so.

We manifest it. Bring it into our reality. Yes it is true that on occasion we can think of something as a pre warning or an intuitive thought but even your intuition is manifestation.

That night with me feeling fat and useless even Brian who obviously had some feelings for me took me outside to tell me he didn’t think this would work because he was not attracted to me. I was too big for his liking. Before we want to strike Brian down with lightning, I created this. I even knew it as he was saying it and in 2 minutes I had it turned around. Thank god I know and understand the law of attraction because I cannot imagine spending the last ten years without this man.

Why did my life suck ten years ago? Because I let it. Simple really. No matter what I was doing in my life. Getting up, working, raising my kids, working, using Brian as my toy, working….it was not what I was supposed to be working on., There was no real effort. Lots of drama, lots of poor me, but no real effort. I allowed my self to manifest a life I didn’t want. I allowed my excuses to rule me.

After that night I realized what I was doing and it all changed. That is all it really takes. Realizing what you are doing and doing something to change it. Even when you don’t know what to do. I concentrated on what I did love in my life. I concentrated on Brian and my kids and started working on the rest. When clients walked in my door they got more attention. More of me. When my friends were in need they got my undivided attention. I started treating everything how I would want to it to be for me. Even my kids got a break from crazy lady to lets sit and talk about it.

Within three months Brian and I were living together and his two kids had moved with us. They became my two kids. Within 6 months we had bought our first home, a new car and my business had doubled. And now today.

Within ten years my life went from miserable to FREAKING AMAZING!

I am married to my twin soul, had a wedding to die for. We have 4 of our own children that complete me. Ashley, Eddie, Ashley and Kailyn. We adopted a boy that moves me in a way most could never understand. My Dylan. We have taken in our oldest daughters best friend who is without question on of our children. Brian’s Jennifer. We have three unbelievable in law children. Matt: you are so good for Jenn. We love you…..Amanda: You are mine what more can I say. I adore you. Corey: you make our family so much more complete. There is not enough thank you’s for bringing our daughter home.

We have two grandbabies that are beyond our expectations. One was even given my middle name and with the grace of god sleeps at Grandma’s all the time. We own a beautiful home with a pool in the back, pool table in the living room, every guitar hero you could think of and many of our children. We drive gorgeous vehicles and every day get to wake up doing what we love. We have a TV show that is going national. People we work with that inspire us. I have a Producer and Camera man that defy the law of talent. They are beyond gifted in their field. Last but not least, I have people all over the world that not only know my name, but respect me and listen when I try to help them.

So today on my 40^th birthday I have only a few things to say. Wake up every day knowing you are in control of the life you have, over how it will be and what you can do. Never forget to thank god, the Universe or Flying Fairies if that is what you want to call it, for everything you have and can have because it is all gifts.

The law of attraction and manifestation is the only law you need to ever really understand and if you do not know what to do with your life, go see someone like me to figure it out. And last but not least. I am thrilled to be 40 because these last ten years have been beyond perfect. The next ten are going to be even better and I love manifesting my future. You will too.

No matter where you are in your life right now, no matter how overwhelming it all seems. Your Freaking Amazing is only thought patterns away. 

ASK KJ: Free yourself

ASK KJ: Free yourself: "The first thing we should register about being a human is we can guarantee to ourselves that we make mistakes. Some of our mistakes are sm..."

Free yourself

The first thing we should register about being a human is we can guarantee to ourselves that we make mistakes.

Some of our mistakes are small like wearing white after labour day, but for the most part they are usually, at the time that we make them earth shattering. Things will never be the same kind of mistakes.

We create these vicious cycles of beating ourselves up and feeling like we are not good enough. Then because of our constant rant of not being good enough we fear admitting our mistakes to ourselves because we think that admitting our flaws means we are less worthy.

Here is the thing we don’t realize but should. A cycle is doing things over and over. Mistakes are lessons where the intention is that we learn and become stronger in our lives. It is only a mistake when we allow it to become a cycle by not facing it.

Admitting to ourselves and accepting our flaws and our struggles is actually a strength builder. It will build your self worth.

There is not a person anywhere that does not screw up on occasion. No I need to fix that. There is not one person that does not screw up all the time. It makes us who we are. It gives us the life we are living and if we can pull our heads out of our asses once in awhile it can also improve the life we are already creating.

Being accountable to ourselves means understanding ourselves completely. It means we can accept ourselves freely and it also allows us the ability to forgive ourselves and possibly those around us.

Free yourself by being honest. Look in the mirror and tell yourself a true story.

Give yourself some much needed credit because as much as you make mistakes. You also fix and or survive them and we both know that takes a lot of talent.

Love your life, because it is yours. Because no matter what you want or need, you have the ability to do it.

If there is a chance you don't know what mistakes your making don't beat yourself up, think of seeing someone like me who can help. Love Your Life....

bookwithkj@shaw.ca 

askkj.ca 

ASK KJ: Relationship therapy every man wants his woman to ...

ASK KJ: Relationship therapy every man wants his woman to ...: "This is intended to be one of those. OMG this is so true it is funny blogs. There is swearing and sexual content. If you think you will tak..."

Relationship therapy every man wants his woman to know! (sexually graphic) you are warned.No prudes allowed!

This is intended to be one of those. OMG this is so true it is funny blogs. There is swearing and sexual content. If you think you will take it personal, don’t read!

Message to the men, if your woman listens to this blog, you will be very happy indeed. So get her to read it.

Ladies, first I need to start out with we are never wrong! 

At first any man reading this thinks to himself. "Oh, hell no my wife is not reading this crap." Trust me guys you will be happy.

I am often asked to "help out" in relationship issues, and as you can imagine twenty years as a Clairvoyant has taught me a thing or two about marriage, relationships and how things work.

What I have not learnt in the field, my lovely husband and twin soul has been more than happy to teach me. Usually he is on the losing end, but has taught me never the less.

The biggest issue in relationships is COMMUNICATION, we have heard it a million times, but we have not necessarily understood the huge difference between how men communicate and show love and how women do.

In arguments typically the woman is being irrational. (See guys told you this would be ok.)

We know women need attention, and men need to be needed, blah blah blah.

We know women are emotional and men logical, blah blah blah, but there is reasons why there are sayings out there like ,and at no point does this show how I feel about women or men, just for the record. GRIN.

 "Bitches be crazy" or "Time of the month Hon?" or how about "Trying to get your bitch on dear?" 

Don't get me wrong, men can be jerks, assholes, cold, without feeling, think of only themselves. etc but unless you are in a relationship with a selfish man, which does happen. A man who cares about nothing, but himself,this blog won't help you but I know great lawyers.

 A "normal" guy turns into the jerk because they have closed off their hearing. They don't want to listen anymore!

 Men are simple creatures they hear it once and whether they choose to agree or not they have a get it so get over it theory. Where as we women need to be heard!

What type of acknowledgment do we require you ask? That you listen closely and tell us we are right. Basically what I am saying is that on occasion we need the impossible.

When things do not work out this way guess what happens? Be nice guys! Yes, we go a smidgen crazy and the fight begins.

 Ladies you may not know this, and I hate to be the barer of bad news here but we are so caught up on being safe and secure that we need control, we need to know everything and we for the most part do not trust easily! Also important to know you come by it honestly because your moms are the same way.

Now don't misunderstand me and get your huff on, obviously there is so much more at stake, after all we have certain personalities that change somewhat how we react but this usually equates to what we fight about not necessarily how we ladies fight. 

We don't fight fair! We are right, they are wrong, and eventually someone has to cave or it will become a knock down drag out bitch on wheels fight.

It is true there are times when a fight is required but for the most part, fights are about needing to be right and wanting things done the way we believe they should be. 

Once we have exhausted all ability to get the guy to see things our way, we calm down and discover that there is a possibility we might have been unfair, or wrong. In which case the problem arises that if we admit we were wrong, the guy will use it against us at a later date. So that is not an option!

What does this mean? Time for a covert operation ladies.

Recap. Ladies are controlling and men don't listen.

Girls, there is simple solutions to ensure you do not have to admit defeat, not only that you will leave him believing he has chosen a goddess to spend his life with.

Guys, you are so welcome.

Here is three options for how to not admit you are wrong but keep your man happy and sometimes even get him to apologize to you even though he wasn’t wrong.

1)     Find out exactly when he going to be home....make sure the kids are either in bed or gone and be standing by the front door NAKED with HIGH HEELS or in a SEXY NEXT TO NOTHING NUMBER. and repeat after me.

“oh my god baby I need you right here right now!” 

You are in a relationship and your best communication is sexual. It is the truth. You need to be loved, let them show you they love you. You need to be the most important thing, let them show you that you are. 

Men are simple and they show their emotions through their body. The bonus here is they will be so turned on they won't give a shit who started what. You will get amazing mind blowing sex and they will decide you are FUCKING PERFECT! 

2) As they walk through the door, drop to your knees and          blow their brains.

LOL I am killing myself laughing as I am writing picturing the look on people’s faces as you read me telling you to give your spouse HEAD! In all fairness, it is an amazing way to catch your mans attention.

Not to mention. He will believe he has won the lottery. This option will give you at least a week of getting what you want when you want it and should be used even when not fighting for effective getting what I want manoeuvring

Don’t you love a little it is all about me time? I do.

(I am a clairvoyant and have been a sex therapist to more than one couple.) 

3) Tell them you were wrong and you are so sorry and will never do it again. This one sucks and will leave you open to him bitching you out for a change. Telling you he can’t take this crap anymore and if it continues he may not want to be in this relationship anymore.

It will be his turn to make you pay.

SEE WHY I HAVE given you 1 and 2 as your options????? 

Here is the facts. You will get a lot further with your man if you LOVE HIM. The best making up is make up sex. After the sex he will tell you how much he loves you and did not mean to hurt you because ladies he does love you. He puts up with your crazy often, remember that. 

If he knows you will be happy and he will get lucky he will do anything he can for you because he loves you and intimacy is how he shows it!

If you want him to hear you, to really listen, don't do it after a day at work with kids running around or a game or movie being watched. Make love in the afternoon or way before bed and after curl up and talk! He will listen.

Now last but not least, just some tips to keep you and your man HAPPY. Life together is about quality not quantity and we often forget that while making money, raising children, keeping everyone happy that we miss out on or put our lovers, best friends and spouses on the back burner. 

Life is about the Journey not the destination: 

Now tips to keep your man happy!

1 Book a hotel room close to his work, call him with a code to give the front desk on his lunch hour. When he walks into the room be naked or in slinky on the bed with fruit beside you. Best lunch you will have ever had!

2 Tell him your fantasies, and let him make them reality for you.

3 Give both of you each a day off from life.

One day where he isn’t a husband or a dad, no cheating or anything just 24 hours to do whatever he wants.

Sleep in walk around in underwear, play in his garage or games for 24 hours.. His day and request and do the same for you. Just not the same day.

4 Leave suggestive/loving notes for him to find.

Fill both of your needs here. Eg: Baby, I love you so much I can hardly wait to get you back in bed. P.S. I am not wearing any panties today and you need to take out the garbage. See you when you get home.

5 Send a sex text while at work. (get creative, even send a naked pic, he won’t let anyone else see it. THIS IS IMPORTANT SO READ CLOSELY. DO NOT SAY I DON'T LIKE MY BODY SO I CAN'T...REMEMBER HE IS THE ONE LOOKING AT YOU NOT YOU. BE FAIR TO HIM. STOP TELLING HIM HE SHOULDN'T BE ATTRACTED.

6 Give him a day where you will do anything he wants you to do with him and the same for you.

7 Sex slave days!

8 Buy a wig and be a different person for one night.

(My favourite thing is perfect stranger, use your imagination to figure it out)

9 Order pizza, buy some beer and eat and drink in bed.

10 No kids? Naked Day! The whole day together naked!

11 Dinner and a movie… Get home both jump in pj’s order Chinese and curl up legs entwined watching a movie he wants to watch. Then another night make it a chic flick.

Make your moments even if they are few and far between count.

Go back to the first place you ever dated and instead of telling him how he makes you feel, park somewhere and show him.

Be young again, not always about the kids, and the bills and the job. Sometimes it just needs to be about a man and a woman. Make your relationship count.

If you aren’t married and you try these tricks, trust me the ring is going to be gorgeous and if you are married and you do this, we will worship you and make all your friends jealous.

Great sex, good communication and love is the key to a fantastic marriage.

On a serious note, if you are struggling in your marriage a clairvoyant can help. Bring me your problem and we will fix it.  

ASK KJ: The Mistress always gets the shaft. Story time wit...

ASK KJ: The Mistress always gets the shaft. Story time wit...: "And I mean that in every possible way! LMAO The things I learn from clients right? After 20 years of doing readings and being held in the..."

The Mistress always gets the shaft. Story time with KJ

And I mean that in every possible way! LMAO


The things I learn from clients right? After 20 years of doing readings and being held in the strictest of confidentiality one sits back and registers that I have seen it all.

I have more than once been approached by every situation one could possibly and for the most part not possibly imagine could take place in the realm of real and off the wall life choices.

I have dealt with fetishes, and could write a book. Relationships of every kind imaginable and could write about 20 books on how they fail alone. I have worked with insest, polygamy, multiple partners, swingers, cross dressing, hidden fantasies, beastiality, (No I am not kidding) single, desperate, arranged marriage, bought brides, every culture there is, in laws from hell, I have even dealt with a situation where a couple had no idea that they were adopted out siblings. Yes I am so telling the truth here. This is only a tip of the ice burg in what I have dealt with and I have only given a smidgen of an idea based on our personal lives alone.

The stories I will bit by bit share...But for now this is my rant.

It floors me professionally and personally that the Mistress always gets the shaft. Don't misunderstand me for a second, I have no desire to have to deal with one as my husband would be a very unhappy man in deed, but in my professorial life I have to tell you I have not come across one woman who has ended up as the mistress who didn't try not to be. It is always her fault. "You destroyed a marriage. How could you? Who do you think you are? He was taken. You are a whore. It is all her fault." You are kidding me right?

I am just going to be a bit of a non conformist here when I say....HE MADE THE CHOICE! the cheater is the married one my lovelies. The louse is the one with the family. The snake is the one who cannot get our of their marriage before bringing another partner into it. Yet in my career I have seen too many times they are forgiven. Oh I understand mortgages and children and all that. I have those too. I even completely understand that no one wants their lives to change and I give the one forgiving the credit I really do you are better women than me that is for sure.

But here are the facts. The Mistress is not responsible for the family, the break up, the hurt. She is suffering too, trust me. I have watched one to many amazing women fall to pieces because she ended up the other woman somehow.

Think for a second, and before anyone says to me what about the guys that get cheated on, I have a whole other blog I will post about that. But think for just a moment.

How many times have you gotten into a relationship and believed everything you were told? Especially about your guys ex? Everything about his past and without ever speaking to the other party from the past you see her as a bitch! A skank who messed with the man you now love! Never registering in your head there is always three sides your theirs and the reality.

Men are always so honest right? Come on now, you know what I am saying. They never lie, never talk to other women, never tell you how amazing you look when in reality they are thinking your ass should have a wide load sign attached. "Honey, does this outfit make me look fat?...No love, you are just as hot as when I married you, even after 4 kids and the chocolate of the day club. Trust me you look amazing in neon green."

Now think for a moment how many times have you gotten sucked in by someone you didn't think you would be attracted too, or done things you never thought you would do for a man because he convinced you too. Now do not misunderstand...I have to say this before my husband and my best friend lynch me for being on a hating man tyrant. I love men. I just accept they are the weaker species. (Grin) kidding.. How many times have you fallen for what you have been told. Made decisions against your better judgement. Had love lead you down the wrong path??

I can say with complete honesty that every mistress I have ever met, every other woman because  I hate the word mistress has needed love and the men have given it. I am not going to presume to say that there is not conniving women out there. Nor am I telling you that you don't need to watch that new female assistant with the fake boobs who just got hired. But the manipulative woman will at the end get theirs. Because the ones that end up getting your man, will be stuck with him and you and I know that is not always the best thing. Sometimes the other woman even does you a favor. However that is a rare bread believe it or not..Try remember once a cheater always a cheater.

Most of the time, the other woman are friends of ours. They are regular loving girls who gets sucked into the lies and mis beliefs that have been given because they have no self worth. They are not the reason nor are they the blame, they are sitting at home crying their eyes out, wishing they could find a way to stop seeing him. There are some that even leave the Province yet can't get far enough away. The other woman for the most part is a victim just like the wife.

This does not mean all men cheat, nor does it mean all women are saints. It means that we need to learn to understand the situations before we cast the rock throwing. There is always reasons for why things happen, Mistresses included. So for those of you that are my clients. I understand, and you have nothing to feel ashamed for. You are not making their choices. Stand tall and proud and do what you can to get out of this unhealthy relationship, because you deserve to have a man all to yourself too and if you met him while he was still with someone else, trust me no matter what the Universe says. You deserve better.


Shocking truth it is not always the womans fault.

KJ 

ASK KJ: Get bored easily? This is not a character flaw...I...

ASK KJ: Get bored easily? This is not a character flaw...I...: "Growing up all I ever heard was 'Do you finish anything you start?' Not to mention all of the times I would get in trouble for being bored....."

Get bored easily? This is not a character flaw...It is a character draw!

Growing up all I ever heard was "Do you finish anything you start?" Not to mention all of the times I would get in trouble for being bored....When I left home, I went through job after job and it was not because I couldn't keep them.

I get bored. Simple really. I need things to amuse me and if I do something for too long I feel like I am going to scream. I cannot lie it can be a pain in the ass when I want to make one of my kids a afghan or I want to finish a painting for the living room, but the rest of the time it gives me a chance to try all kinds of new things.

We are told getting bored is a negative thing but the truth is it is really more freeing than the restrictions people place on themselves because they think they have too.

The wealthiest people in the world will tell you that they get bored easily. It means we are not inclined to settle. It means we feel the need to try new things. It means we find our security and stability inside of ourselves instead of seeking it out in a job, or a relationship.

It means when we are not happy we change things. It means we get to try all kinds of different things in our lifetime.

It means freedom of choice. Of course it also means feeling of failure if you continue to believe their is something wrong with you because you get bored.

When your life is over it will not matter how many different jobs you had so it should not matter now. Paying your bills is the priority not how you pay them.

Do whatever you need to do in order to love the life you are living, and when you are trying to decide what you should go to school for...or what kind of job you want to have...Try thinking about what you want to do right now. It cannot possibly be a bad thing to have a few degrees.

Take the pressure off, you do not know what is going to happen tomorrow so love the life you are living today.

To my fellow boredom is bad peeps....Keep changing....You can always find room to store those half done projects... For me I am bored as soon as I figure it out and that means I am constantly learning...I will get back to those projects eventually. I am sure I will...


KJ 

ASK KJ: Psychic Sunday...You might be and EMPATH!

ASK KJ: Psychic Sunday...You might be and EMPATH!: "When you spend your whole life feeling the things you feel it would be absurd to think that you would just know that you have a gift. Far ea..."

Psychic Sunday...You might be and EMPATH!

When you spend your whole life feeling the things you feel it would be absurd to think that you would just know that you have a gift. Far easier and more common to believe that everyone feels the same way. For me I just grew up thinking I was crazy. (Hush now)

News flash though, not everyone feels things the same way. I can tell you without question that everyone is born with a gut instinct. That feeling or more so that warning that takes place inside of us, like a beacon of help from above when we actually listen to it. Not a common thing, for people to listen to it. I can also tell you with complete accuracy that we are all born with some sort of ability.

Some are born to listen, some sing, some help, some create wealth, some own business, some heal, some grow things, the list could go on and on. I have told my youngest daughter we are like Tinker Bell...lol I know...but what I meant by it was we all have an area of expertise, Like wood fairies, and water fairies and earth fairies, we all have a "Category" that we fit into.  A mold of individuals that see, feel and hear things a certain way.

So what does this mean to you? Well to start off with it means there is good chances you are not crazy.....This does not stop you from going through a lot of crap in the emotional department but with any luck over the next while I might be able to help you understand what you are going through....

This weekend is about Empath! The Internet's description of an empath is.....(drum roll please)

“Empaths have the ability to scan another's psyche for thoughts and feelings or for past, present, and future life occurrences. Many empaths are unaware of how this actually works, and have long accepted that they were sensitive to others.”

Now my description:

An Empath often confuses the emotions they pick up for their own, causing a multitude of confusion and fear. Walking by, driving by, sitting with, talking about an individual who is either very upset, happy, sad, angry and you start to without reason or understanding take on that feeling. Fears, worry's happening in your brain that you do not really understand, other than you are living it and feeling it. (that is what makes it so hard to understand...It is so intense how could it not be yours??? well it isn't)

Being overwhelmed by your emotions all the time....Getting a feeling about something and then finding out later you where right.....These are all tell tale signs of Empath and that is a gift.....Of course till you figure out not everyone feels this way or until you start to understand it a little better, it feels like a curse...

An empath feels things happening. Feels what is going on, takes on emotions....An empath is a healer....Someone who can be Empathetic to those who are struggling...An empath is a brilliant mind that lives in their emotions....

an old soul, and as you are reading this thinking that this applies to everyone.....No, it doesn't....

Fear not though, if this is what it feels like to be you....there is help....learning intuition, reading about empath, talking to friends....these are all ways to "deal with" learn about your gift....

When we know how to use being an Empath it is an amazing gift....I am a Clairvoyant Empath...in the mean time grab yourself a Smokey quartz ring or bracelet..it will help you cope...

Well that is my tidbit for the day.....Learn well, love often.....and remember if you want something you have never had...You must do something you have never done! 

Love Kjarlune

ASK KJ: The letter that went out to my clients.

ASK KJ: The letter that went out to my clients.: "If you want something you have never had, you have to make some changes! Our soul family has a job to do and that is to provide what we ne..."

The letter that went out to my clients.

If you want something you have never had, you have to make some changes!

Our soul family has a job to do and that is to provide what we need. You have a job to do too, and that is to believe they will provide it. Not tell them how, not do it all yourself, but to believe they will provide. When you restrict them you restrict your options. You restrict your outcomes. LYL

It is so easy to get caught up in what is not going right in your life. To get stuck repeating your days. Same thing every day with no real clear path or belief it will change and even if it could, what would you do?

You are not alone if you are feeling lost and confused. It is common practice when not living the life you are here to live.

Whether you are not sure why you are not in that perfect relationship, or tired of being sick and tired, the only way to turn it around is to make changes.

The question that leaves you with now is change what? Or worse, How?

It is different for each of us. Life is not a small menu fast food drive through. It is a buffet of options and choices. It is everything you can imagine it to be, or nothing you want to look forward too. It can even be somewhere in the middle.

We are here to learn and to grow and how you choose to do that is your decision. Your world is full of choices even though it feels like you are only surrounded by limitations.

Even when life is amazing like mine there are still struggles. Still times when one needs a little helping hand. As most of you know I have been working on my health and weight loss and to date I am happy to say I have lost 60 pounds. Brian and I are celebrating our 6^th month of being non smokers and it looks like our oldest daughter is coming home to go to University. (Thank you Grandpa) (I sure hope this does not jinx that) lol

Even with everything going right, even knowing what and how the Universe works, even I occasionally go seek out some assistance. For me it is my weight loss and for others it is their life’s path.

Some of my best sessions in the last few months have been life coaching. Watching eyes open, and the fog lift. It is amazing.

I have had the pleasure of watching clients get past depression and feel like living. Watched a couple of business’s open up. Some healers embark in new journeys. I have had the pleasure of participating in relationships turning around and new ones started. Illness, take a back seat and new career choices get made.

It is always a surprise when life gets better so fast. Once we step out of our survival, I can figure it out on my own, headspace. The truth is every one of you who has walked through my door for help over the last few months would have never done it if you knew what you needed to do to turn your life around. So thank you for trusting that I could help.

I am so proud of everyone one of you that have turned your worlds around recently. I knew it wouldn’t be hard once you let it happen. *grin*

We can do anything with the right tools.

The show is going great. We are having meetings and working on selling it. I promise as soon as I know you know.

For those of you waiting for the Living Room Manifestation I will be booking it this month. Either Sunday the 15^th or Saturday the 21^st. If you have a preference let Brian know.

It is spring, time for change and that means May specials. I will see you when you need me. Hugs!  

Psychic Life Coaching is on sale During May for $160.00

(One hour sessions) Reg Price $200.00

In-Touch Intuitive Classes During May $1195.00

(Life time course) Reg Price $1495.00

Shedding the past!  12 classes over 12 months. A very intense, channelled. Turn your life around and make things happen kind of program. Tears are shed, Life long struggles ended. Commitment REQUIRED! No acceptations! Privacy and confidentiality demanded. If you cannot keep it all in the class, DON’T JOIN! (Not being testy just very important)

Class Starts August 2011 and ends August 2012. No late entries. No refunds because it is too much to handle. You will change. You will accomplish and you will grow. (I am not the only Instructor.) During May $1195.00 regular price $2495.00 (Graduation is a class trip. Not included in class price. We start together, we graduate together.)

Love Your Life

KJ 

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bookwithkj@askkj.ca

ASK KJ: Day 20, If you don't have anything nice to say, do...

ASK KJ: Day 20, If you don't have anything nice to say, do...: "We get so caught up in our drama's that we can't see the past our own heads to get to the end goal. I thought I lived drama free, and I hav..."

Day 20, If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all!

We get so caught up in our drama's that we can't see the past our own heads to get to the end goal. I thought I lived drama free, and I have discovered none of us do. For some drama is how you cope, what you create so that you have something to work on. Something to fix. For others, like myself, it is the old tapes. The beliefs that have been instilled in us, and in the generations before us. 

For some of us Drama is something you can succeed at and for others it is battle of the brain. That battle is probably.....No I can say it is without question, the biggest obstacle you will ever have to overcome in your life. I have learnt so much in the last two months. Most of it I wish I could forget, and with any luck over time, especially with my bad memory I will...However, some of what I have learnt in the last two months, almost needs to become a Hallmark card I can carry with me and read over and over again whenever in doubt. Our past and the way we have been taught leaves us in the belief no matter how hard we try, that we are not good enough, not smart enough to figure things out on our own. 

Even with everything I know about the Universe and The Law of Attraction. I have spent the last 21 years believing that I know nothing about weight loss. After all if I knew how to do it, I would have done it. That my friends I have discovered is not the truth. However the belief led me down a windy road of research and trying to understand. It led me to a place of confusion and frustration. Just like when you are trying to make things happen in your life but don't have the faith you can. The worst part about not believing in ourselves is that it leaves one feeling very alone. 

I have learnt that like most other things in life weight loss is an Industry and everyone knows more than me. Of course I have also discovered over the years that a interior designer knows more about decorating than me too but it doesn't stop my house from looking good. I have also discovered that there is either a million different ways to loose weight, or everyone is full of crap,. I am leaning towards the full of crap part, but I should probably change the statement. There is a million ways to lose weight, but only one way to keep it off. 

Just like everything else. There is a million ways to find a relationship, but only one way to stay happily married for your lifetime. A million types of jobs, but only one that you will feel like was made for you. I have learnt that our biggest hold back is not laziness. Or even lack of motivation. My motivation has been through the roof. At 350 pounds I swim laps like I weigh 120 daily so not lazy. 

Our biggest hold back in our lives is Trust in ourselves. You can learn till you are blue in the face but if you do not trust that you have the ability to do whatever it is you are setting out to do, it can't work. You can search for the "golden ticket" the one way that life will just fall into place all you want, but unless you are ready to get rid of those beliefs that were instilled as a child it is not going to work! You have to trust YOU! You have to believe in YOU! You have to have faith in YOU! 

We do not get stuck because we are not trying. We get stuck because we are not believing. Even I got caught up in learning instead of trusting my intuition! MY INTUITION! You know that thing I have that people come and see me for????? Are you kidding me? I got caught up in not trusting myself....and so do you! 

We get so bogged down that we do not even notice what we have done! We get so caught up in what we don't have that we don't see what we do. 

We require helping hands on occasion. It is true. Going to see a psychic so they can give us our own direction is a helping hand.. Helping us get past our heads is a helping hand. Talking to a friend who knows you and can support you is a helping hand. Listening to everyone else but ourselves, well that is a road block....Losing faith in yourself and your direction in life. Losing your motivation, because you are told, or made to believe that you cannot succeed is not a helping hand. It is a road block. A success stopper...There is nothing wrong with looking for answers, but obsessing and not listening to yourself, to what you know is not the option. 

Believe in yourself, no matter what. No matter what you go through or how long it takes to get out of your head, and to achieve the goal, believe in you. Because the sooner you do, the easier it gets. 

Believe in yourself and you will succeed! 

ASK KJ: Day 6 I see blue sky's, nothing but blue sky's..

ASK KJ: Day 6 I see blue sky's, nothing but blue sky's..: "Oh what a glorious morning. As much as I am looking so forward to not seeing any more white anywhere on the ground ever again, or at least f..."

Day 6 I see blue sky's, nothing but blue sky's..

Oh what a glorious morning. As much as I am looking so forward to not seeing any more white anywhere on the ground ever again, or at least for the next 6-7 months. (So much so I am seriously contemplating removing all white from my wardrobe, house, even my kids closets) I am so tired of the color. I do have to admit, when the sun is shining and mother nature starts teasing us again with a b e a u tiful day.....It's pretty.....

Of course not as pretty as green everywhere. Hot well built men walking around without a shirt...Lounge balconies full of people spending their paychecks and enjoying every second of it. That my friends is pure beauty. In Alberta anyhow.

The Stampede is coming and that means pancake breakfasts on every corner and BBQ's everywhere you look. Calgary is the home of free food, tons of booze and sex with strangers. All in the name of some good old country, getting business done, visiting, and vacationing fun.

Somewhat like Spring Break in Florida, minus the underage bikini babies, strutting their stuff and partying in a thong. Don't misunderstand me, if I had that kind of body, I would probably strut my stuff on 17th ave here in Calgary in a few shreds of material. Save the flight and party close to home. That would be me, way less competition that way.....*grin*

Yes today for me is a day for making goals....You see I reached one this morning... I am officially 60 pounds thinner...One goal reached!!!

My new goal is to be in the 200's by my birthday. I am turning 40 this year and have the need to feel amazing for that day. I am told depending on who I am talking too that wanting to loose 20 pounds a month is not a realistic goal.

It is still my goal don't misunderstand me but I am told that I should not be thinking that way. We will see. I have never been one to do what I am told so why start now.


For today, I celebrate a huge mile stone.. I can officially use my wii fitness now....

If you have never been the size I started this would not make sense to you but, two maybe three years ago, my now estranged sister got me a WII fitness for Christmas. I have not been able to use it until TODAY!

My kids did and would ask me all the time to play with them. I have perfected excuses, not wanting them to know that I was too fat to register on the WII fit board. (I tried it one night when everyone was sleeping).

That was my first goal, that WII fit has been haunting me for three years. The funniest thing is, I have no desire to use it..I just hating knowing I couldn't.

It does not matter what you want to Manifest into your life, you need to have goals. Some goals need to be along the way so that you know you are getting there. I even suggest that you give yourself plenty of time so you can breeze right past them before the time you set for it, so you can feel the energy of succeeding.


Isn't that one life is, energy and succeeding is getting to where you want to be in your life. Living the life you want to live.

The reality is that you are going to be here anyway. Be alive anyways, at least the chances are good. So if you are going to be here anyway, why not be one or two steps closer to the life you want to have? The life you fantasize about?

What is the point of getting up every day if you are not going to get to where you have the desire to be?

Some things come easy. For me it was finding my twin soul, building my business, and loving my kids. For you it might be being thin and a non smoker. It doesn't matter what it is you find the easiest in your life. It matters that you can accomplish what you find the hardest.

If I can loose 60 pounds in 4 months and be a non smoker for 5 months. You my friends can do anything you set your mind too.

Why am I writing this daily blog? To put my teachings to the test! I have been saying that manifestation is easy! I have proven it many times, but even I have taken it for granted and am now using the tools I know and love in the one area of my life I have never conquered. ME!

SO thank you Soul Family....Grandpa Gus for helping me loose these 60 pounds. I would appreciate if you could stop showing me you are around with the smell of stake smoke...(it is really gross) I know you are always here, always taking care of me and always giving me what I need. My next need personally is to be in the 200's. Let's make it happen.

At the end of the day, life is like a blue sky, endless and full of possibilities. So whether you are making goals so that you can have better mind blowing sex life with your husband like I am doing or because it will just make you feel better. Their is no negatives to becoming who you want to be.


Have a great Sunday....

One happy chubby chick.

ASK KJ: Day 5, snowed in. What a great day for...

ASK KJ: Day 5, snowed in. What a great day for...: "Get your minds out of the gutter, I was going to say what a great day for cuddling under a blanket watching movies on Netflix. Which is what..."

Day 5, snowed in. What a great day for...

Get your minds out of the gutter, I was going to say what a great day for cuddling under a blanket watching movies on Netflix. Which is what I have done all day.

For some looking to loose weight they have cheat days for me it is treat days and my real idea of treating myself is to curl up and not go out in the cold to the aquatic center to swim for two hours. I know it sounds sad at the end of the day but in reality I just did not have the energy nor the desire to drive there.

I am very much looking forward to my pool being clean as it is being heated right now....Once it is clean it may not be long enough for to do laps but I can do some water aerobics on those days I do not want to venture out in the car...

That is how much my hunny loves me. He worked on summarizing our pool today while I curled up watching Blue Crush. practicing my surfing the couch technique while ever so slowly munching on air popped corn.

Even when you are slimming down a movie day and pizza night are not in the realm of what not to do...Just order multi grain and eat limited.

I am in a just here mood today so no joking or being a smart ass. Just some good old fashioned watching movies while Crocheting. 

ASK KJ: Day 4....am I bitchy or tired..I just don't know

ASK KJ: Day 4....am I bitchy or tired..I just don't know: "Not one of my finer days, to say the least. I am not miserable and nothing bad has happened, so I think I might just be a little hormonal....."

Day 4....am I bitchy or tired..I just don't know

Not one of my finer days, to say the least.

I am not miserable and nothing bad has happened, so I think I might just be a little hormonal....Shocking female...We have inherent bitch hormones.

Actually for me it is shocking because I do not cycle. I admit it I am not normal...hahahahahaha... Ok, even I can't believe I just said that. I am sure the men reading will be like, OMG did she really have too???

But I am promised to share all....Sooooo...I cycle if I am lucky once every 12 years..Well with all this weight loss coming through mother nature decided it was my turn for a present.

We will be chatting when I get a chance. Me and mother nature. Not only am I pissed at her for the snow, yeah we really needed more of that. I am now pissed, emotional and feeling somewhat psychotic because she did not go to toys r us for my present.(stomping my feet)

The day has been good though, I worked out in the pool for 2 hours doing laps./

It is so funny when someone goes into the pool and picks the lane beside me, nice nod and I can hear them thinking she won't be able to do this. Then I beat them lap for lap. After a while they start to look impressed....Then they leave because well they are done and the next person comes over and over till my two hours of freestyle and backstroking is done.

All in all a good, bitchy. emotional. but really I am doing fine kind of day.......Man am I glad this is only every 12 years....


night all I am too tired to keep typing.....
xoxoxo

ASK KJ: Sex, Hard amazing and will blow my mind. It is my ...

ASK KJ: Sex, Hard amazing and will blow my mind. It is my ...: "That's the way uh huh uh huh I like it uh huh uh huh...... What a day. I am feeling somewhat frustrated but not because of anything bad. ..."

Sex, Hard amazing and will blow my mind. It is my turn on top! Day 3

That's the way uh huh uh huh I like it uh huh uh huh......



What a day. I am feeling somewhat frustrated but not because of anything bad. I have been working so much over the last two days I have not been able to go to the pool and do my laps and that makes me one cranky little camper....


Over all though it has been a good day....The gods have got to find a way to make my scale disappear till weigh in on Sunday though.


Can't fairies or something come hide it?? it works for my phone, my jewelery and my brain. They disappear without any warning why can't this happen to my scale??

I swear a man invented the scale.A screwed up, sexually frustrated man who was not getting laid and he wanted his wife to pay.

He invented the scale and made sure it was out of alignment. She believed she was 20 pounds more than she was and felt so bad he consoled her.

Leaving her to believe he was the only man who would love her and thus he started getting laid again.

Bastard, should have accepted blue balls. Here I am generations later doing my thing and I feel the need to go look at the scale ALL THE TIME!!!


Obsess much, nope not me....


I will say though since shedding my 60 pound back pack, holy god that was way heavier than I knew, I  have way more energy..

Water, my friend or my foe, that is the question...


I have drank more water in the last 6 months than Vancouver is going to get drowned in during 2012 let me tell you.. ( No Vancouver is not going to go under water in 2012 but I got a kick out of the looks on your faces..hahahahaha)

Seriously though, water water water. I like to swim in water, bathe in water, live in water..(still looking for my biological parents, my merents....I promise to keep you posted. Hell the National Enquirer will post it for you too I am sure.)

I am not a huge fan of drinking it...Maybe it is because I know my mer family shit in it, or maybe it is because it has NO TASTE... All I know is I feel like I am drinking 100 pounds a day of water. Of course it is working, so fine I will continue to drink it.


I mentioned yesterday that I am doing things... Uniquely and I will tell you all about it, just not yet......hahahahahhahaha..


I was a little dizzy today but it might be because I was thinking Kelly my hairdresser needs to get me some blonde highlights. (No offense to any hair color challenged out there.)

I  have had dizzy times in the past so I am not that worried. That is it, that is my day. I am off to dream about my mer family and swimming, looking hot in a bikini....


With a gorgeous muscle bound man helping me....................because he thinks I am drowning.........Brian won't mind....


hugs nite all...  

Desperation..(not a part of my sex daily blog)

Desperation:

It is more unflattering than stretch marks.

Ask any man, he would take too much fat in the middle, boobs sagging to the floor, having to do all the work over desperation any day.

It is a waste of emotion. Worse it is a feeling that leaves it’s mark far after the desperation fades.

We all want, no we all need to be loved, needed, wanted, adored, worshiped, understood, trusted, thought of, and basically important to not only that someone special but to anyone and everyone who cares about us.

Our bodies, believe it or not is not how we get that. Our minds and the crazy tricks it plays doesn’t get it for us either. Our energy, what we present ourselves. The way we communicate, we share, we give is what is our “selling” feature.

Desperate is why your house is sitting on the market for too long, not the colors or the size.

If you are alone and desperate than you will stay alone because it is like a “condemned” sign on a property.

If you are in a relationship that is “complicated” lord knows we have all had our share of those….Then get used to complicated my darlings because you are the reason it is complicated.

If you are happy in your relationships and your lives then guess what??? You are never desperate.

Love the life you are living and let it go. Be that breath of fresh air, that magnet that attracts people to your life. Let go of the desperate and get into the “this is my life and I am going to live it” liberation.

Just like taking poison, or having that second drink desperation is a choice.

Sex, Hard amazing and will blow my mind. It is my turn on top! Day 2

It Hurts so GOOOOOD!

I have an awesome trainer, really sweetheart of a guy. Young, cute, smart ass. My perfect trainer.

As a matter of fact, the day I met him he called sweetie.

If that isn't a sign....Hold the phone and hang a tie around the door, we have a winner. Prince Ali I affectionately call him. Course when he is working me over.....Asshole is the name I prefer....I love you Ali and you know it...


Here is the thing....I do love my trainer....but I HATE GETTING TRAINED!!!!!!


1st I am not a dog, I am not in need of training, I have been peeing in a toilet for years...

2nd: and this one is big...I AM A CONTROL FREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and training means telling me what I have to do.......Uh, yeah...no!!!

Honestly, number two doesn't work for me. I am the one that tells people how to do things.....hello....

The 3rd reason and this one gets me too. He tells me that pain is gain....Are you kidding I know that bullshit, I tell my clients and students pain means you are learning....I DON'T WANT TO LEARN!! I WANT TO LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Love, exciting and new 
Come Aboard. We're expecting you.
Love, life's sweetest reward.
Let it flow, it floats back to you."

Actually I want to look hot in a pair of jeans and show my husband exactly how controlling I am...*eye brow wiggle inserted here*

As much as I love my trainer, and I do, you should go see him really. I get a hug every time and everything...I hate the pain. I do not enjoy the working out, and I get bitchy...

So this is what I have learnt.....

Don't bother even trying if you are not going to love it....Honestly getting in shape is like a great meal....Why sit down and eat it...go over your calories and gain some damn weight if you are not going to rock my world blow me over LOVE IT! 

For me, like I mentioned getting told what to do, nope can't handle it...


I on the other hand, was born a fish....

I am not sure how my mom and dad got rid of my fins, and am looking into where my blood family really is, but it is true....I am a member of the mer people...Don't judge us....I love love love love love love WATER....

Swimming for me is like melted chocolate dripping off my strawberry, scorching (oops sorry hunny *batting eyelashes*) my husband...It is the great escape....my fuck the world...it is all about me time....




See for me a reason I become the fatty that could after I left my abusive marriage was that I could. Even when we know better we still eat.


I have spent enough years hurting myself the thought of doing it in a way I don't want too well it just plain sucks and because of that I am not interested. Find what you love to do, hell make it two hours sex at least your burning those calories....


I want to talk for a second about how I am going to defy what people think is healthy or good for me through out this. Know that I am not a stupid woman and have checked with my Dr. and well probably your dr too I have talked to so many....lmao..




Would we not expect KJ would totally step out of the box and loose weight even her way? I don't do anything any other way...


My grandpa god and kermit rest his soul (grandpa not Kermit...I am sure kermit is fine) helps me every night....I am telling you this because as of this morning....since Sunday I have lost R U READY???????






12 pounds...




Yep, and no it wasn't all water weight. Some but I have lost 54 before that eating my 5 meals a day working out like a dog with prince Ali.....You know the way the industry has told me too...




Well now I don't wanna! We know I hate being told what to do... I love the law of attraction. 


I am going on a cruise in August, and just because I am obese does not mean I don't wanna look hot.....hahahahaha ok even I had to laugh at that........uh hem mm..... Hotter (wink) in a bathing suit while whale watching on the boat....I am going to Alaska so I know not really the hottest weather...




However, being me, I am decided that if I look better in a swimsuit I am wearing it...




So my diet is the law of attraction and the hibernating bear all rolled into one....I will tell you all about as we go..


I may land of my face, crash and burn and have to admit...(bad taste in mouth) that I am wrong...and the conventional way is the way to go. If that is the case I will go back to that but for now this Queen of fucking everything (no really I have the mug) is loving loosing it fast..




This is my thought for the day...




Our world seems to relate heavily to living in pain. Suffering seems so much easier to wrap our heads around than pleasure. (the being on top sexually is totally going to change that for me, for the record)  We seem to be so drawn to pain of some kind that we so easily believe it.. Now there are even good pains...WTF!




I am left to question if the weight loss industry, the bikini industry as it should be refereed to is the same way???


In order to loose weight you must count calories, eat right, small portions, no Mac Donald's ( I am telling your their Mac wraps...fucking awesome) work out to the point of  pain, drink so much water you feel like you are floating, work out more.. Maybe it is a punishment thing... Maybe it is just like when we were kids and if we did something wrong we got punished. Well I don't want to be anymore.
 I have been punished enough, had to learn enough by being obese in a thin society....




Hugs all....This Hurts so good fatty with  a Attitude is off like a heard of turtles...they like water too...I am going to get ready do my job and because today is my late day...probably work even later.....








hugs...peace......talk to you tomorrow






Always remember spelling and grammer well they ended when I lost on the spelling bee tv show in grade 6....so read between my lines. I promise if I ever turn this into a book an editor will finish it for me.....